Burger Time

Continuing in my theme of firsts from my previous blog post, upon my return from Волгоград, I was really craving a hamburger. While I really try not to indulge myself with foods from home while abroad, it was late, my hostmom was asleep and I knew that there was a 24-hour burger joint around the corner. I layered myself up with coats and headed out into the cold. Seeing the menu at Мистер Гамбургер, I was delighted to see familiar names, although they were written in Cyrillic. I decided to go for the чизбургер (cheeseburger) and a coke. In typical fast food fashion, the fine people at Mister Gamburger give me my tray and I'm off. Sitting down at a nearby available table, I hastily unwrap the burger. While the bun looks a little strange, that doesn't stop me from biting right in. What do I think after my first bite?: This tastes nothing like a hamburger! There is something known as бутерброд in Russian, which is roughly equivalent to an open-faced sandwich. This чизбургер tasted nothing like a grilled burger loaded with deliciously unhealthy American cheddar cheese, but more like a toasted bun with provolone cheese and a slice of deli meat. While the latter description may sound appetizing for some, the taste left something to be desired. There is another burger chain in town, MacKing. While I am really craving a good burger right now, I don't know if I want to risk my life on some unholy pseudo-fusion of McDonalds and Burger King at МакКинг. I guess I'll just have to wait another two months before I have my big, fat, juicy cheeseburger... maybe even with bacon and avocado!

What You WILL Find In Russia

What You WILL Find In Russia:
McDonald's
Churches
Starbucks
More churches
Hard Rock Cafe
Yet even more churches
Carl's Jr.
Cbarro
Шуарума
Hot dog stands
American Diner
Pepsi
Coca-Cola
Лимонад
Miller Beer
Budweiser
A limited selection of American (Californian) wine
Кефир (mildly fermented milk drink)
Квас (mildly fermented bread drink)
M&M's
Mars chocolate bar
Snickers
Чёрный хлеб (black bread)
Beets
Lay's Potato Chips (Flavors including: bacon, cheese, sour cream & onion and шашлык kebab)
Газированная вода / вода с газом (carbonated water)
Медовуха
Путинка Vodka
Шампанское
$8 пиво that tastes like something one eightieth that price
Балтика 0-9 & Невское Светлое Пива
Hockey fans
Футбол
Hookah bars
Smokers
Чай
Instant Coffee
The most expensive city in the world
Recognition of the independence of South Ossetia and Abkazia
Georgian restaurants
Ford Focus
Нефть (oil)
State-owned majority stakes in companies of key industries
1 копейка coin worth $0.0004 (at an exchange rate of 25 rubles per dollar)
Dial-up internet
220V electrical outlets
A new time zone
Cheap, legal DVDs
PAL Video Format
Satellite and Cable TV
A city that never sleeps
Beautiful Питер
Eurodance radio stations
Foreign TV shows dubbed in Russian (with the source-language track still played)
Torrential summer downpours
Белые ночи (white nights)
Large mosquitoes
Отчества
Futons used as beds year-round
Матрёшки
Superstition
Worries of becoming sterile from sitting on cold concrete
Paganism
Штрафы милиции
Xenophobia of Caucasians
One sixth the land mass of the earth
Lake Baikal
Monasteries
Дурак, the card game... of course
Cell phones without contracts
Билайн рекламы
Cheap cab rides
Inexpensive public transportation
Trans-Siberian Railroad
Stray dogs that seem to know how to use the metro and crosswalks
World-class musicians playing in the depths of the metro
War memorials
Tatars, Uzbeks, Ukrainians, Georgians, Armenians, etc.
More war memorials
A mummified former leader
Yet even more war memorials
Temperatures below zero
Businessmen in Armani suits
Women in D&G (authenticity disputable)
Homeless people
Handicapped missing all but one limb
Скинхеди
Цыганы
Chinese tourists
German speakers
American embassy
Тимати
Дима Билан
Men with "mullet" or "rat-tail" style haircuts
Baths from water heated off of the stove (when the city hot water pipes or plant are under repair)
Abundant medicine available without prescription (including antibiotics)
Memories of a fallen society
Dreams of a promising future

Periodically speaking... / Where did this TV come from?

So I've bought my first comic book ever. (My former roommate, Nay, a comic book-addict is now tickled pink.) Any guesses as to what it might be? Yes, 90% of you are right in that I bought a Simpsons comic. While many of you may know that I don't think too highly of comics, since they are generally a waste of time, but I figured it would be fun to give my Russian a run for its money, putting it in the context of a Russian-language Simpsons comic. My general impression of the comic is overall positive. It's as if it's its own self-contained Simpsons episode. Since the can't seem to make episodes fast enough for me to watch, this was a fun new way to get my Simpsons fix.

On a related note, I am dismayed to hear that the РФ will soon be pulling the plug on The Simpsons in Russia. The cancellation is rumored to occur sometime during the next two months. As a diehard Simpsons fan, I am sad to hear that the Russian population will be missing out on what millions people around the globe enjoy on a daily basis, often in their own native languages.

After returning from my long trip of the semester, a cruise down that Volga river, I was surprised to find a TV in my room. It had been at the dacha of my hostmother. While I normally don't watch much television and the two month gap with one was hardly noticed, I do appreciate having a TV while in Russia. It's nice to have that extra opportunity to expose myself to spoken Russian and test my listening comprehension skills.

My other new purchase was a Russian National Geographic Magazine. It looks just like the American version with the golden border, although it is all in Russian and the articles are differently, mainly pertaining to Russia. As I had mentioned earlier in one of my photo album captions, one of the clubs I frequented in Moscow was featured in the National Geographic. This just happens to be that very issue. In case you're curious, the club is called Propaganda.